Saber
by Obi the Kid
Summary: PostEpisode 3:Revenge of the Sith. Nonslash. ObiWan attempts to come to terms the events of the recent past.


TITLE: Saber

AUTHOR: Obi the Kid

RATING: PG

SUMMARY: Post-Episode 3:Revenge of the Sith. Non-slash. Obi-Wan attempts to come to terms the events of the recent past.

FEEDBACK: Yes, please.

ARCHIVE: Ask me first.

MY WEBSITE: http/ The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.

REFERENCES: Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith by Matthew Stover and Legacy of the Jedi: The Desperate Mission by Jude Watson.

Saber

The metal felt cool in his hand. A feeling almost forgotten after six months on the desert planet. Six months since everything he'd ever known, everything he'd ever loved had been destroyed. Six months since the apprentice he loved as a brother, turned against him and his training and became the apprentice of the most powerful man in the galaxy. Six months since the beginning of his new life watching over the boy who was to be the future of the Jedi. The future's only hope against the Empire.

Obi-Wan Kenobi fought to push those thoughts behind him once more. He found he focused on them too often. Yes, it was easy to do on this unforgiving world, where the climate was harsh and the days were endless. There was too much time to think and reflect. Too much time to dwell in memories that he couldn't change. So he held the cylinder shaped metal in his hands, wishing for memories of another time. A time when he was an apprentice. The days before the darkness suffocated the galaxy.

The metal he held was the hilt of a light saber that was so familiar to him. Not his own. Not that of his apprentice. This was the one that belonged to his master. His mentor. The man who'd trained him and raised him for those many years. This was the saber of Qui-Gon Jinn. The saber that Qui-Gon had carried with him for as long as Obi-Wan could remember. He'd taken it as his own immediately following his masters death. Keeping it close as a reminder of all that Qui-Gon had taught him.

He rolled it around in his hands. Running his fingers across the smooth edges where black met silver. He began to lose himself in memories of happier days when a voice interrupted him. A voice he knew so well. One he found himself longing for.

"I didn't know you had kept that. Although I must say, I'm glad you did. I spent many months constructing it when I was younger. Master Dooku chastised me many times for being so concerned with it."

Obi-Wan looked up as he always did when Qui-Gon spoke to him from the Force. Habit, he supposed since he wasn't exactly sure where the voice came from. "Master…"

"Still surprised to hear my voice, aren't you?"

"Yes, Master. I struggled to put your death behind me and now…you're here."

"I will always be here, Obi-Wan."

"I'm glad, Master. It's so quiet here. It's nice not to be completely alone." He continued to play with the saber, his hands unconsciously tightening around the metal as Qui-Gon spoke. "I kept several of the items that I knew to be important to you. I could let go of my grief, but I couldn't let go of you completely. Anakin used to tease me when he was younger. He'd say that my face changed when I was thinking about you. That a knot inside of me would loosen."

"You did have many knots, Padawan. I was pleased to see that you had become less uptight as you matured. You allowed yourself to have fun once in a while."

Obi-Wan smiled. "Anakin and I made a good team, Master. Until…"

"You had no control over his final decision, Obi-Wan. No amount of training could have prevented his turn. It was his choice."

"And then he turned on us. He slaughtered his fellow Jedi. Knights, Masters…innocent younglings. Now he turns on the galaxy. Destroying everything that we and so many others fought to achieve. I had a chance, Master. I could have ended his reign before it began. I had him defeated. At the mercy of my blade. One strike was all I needed. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't strike him down. He was unarmed. He was helpless. So much suffering could have been stopped if I'd followed through. Just a few more inches." Obi-Wan's face clinched and his grasp around Jinn's saber became so tight that his hands began to bleed white.

"Compassion." The word sounded so honest and calming coming from Qui-Gon, so different than when Anakin had used the word against him.

"My greatest flaw," Obi-Wan sighed and dropped his head, loosening his grip on the hilt at the same time.

"Anakin's words haunt you. Compassion is what separates the Jedi from those who choose the dark path. Compassion for all life. You could not kill him because he was vulnerable. Unable to defend himself. At that moment, Obi-Wan, I was more proud of you than I have ever been. You refused to give yourself over to the dark side, even for a moment. That is not a flaw, my Padawan. It's what draws you to the light."

The light saber became a focal point again for the younger Jedi and he found himself wishing for the days when he and Qui-Gon fought side by side. Green and blue blades melding together into a single powerful force.

"Is my saber really that interesting, Obi-Wan? Or do you try to hide from what has happened? You can't hide from it. You can only come to terms with it and learn how to fight against it."

"I am trying, Master. It's very difficult. I put everything I had into his training. Everything that I learned from you. Everything that I learned from Master Yoda and Master Windu. Anakin was my brother. I loved him." He paused for a moment to look up. Unshed tears shining in his eyes. "But I couldn't save him."

"Do you hate Anakin, Obi-Wan?"

"No, Master. I have said the words. And part of me wants to believe them. I hate what he has become. I hate the decisions he made. I hate his actions. But I do not hate him. I can't hate him. But I don't know why."

"Compassion, once again. I remember a padawan who often lectured me on my uncanny ability to find the good in everyone and everything. Or what you had gracefully referred to as my picking up of pathetic life forms."

Obi-Wan smiled shortly and felt his face flush.

"Yes, you remember. Many would have looked past these individuals. Refused to meet their gaze and ignored them. I chose to see into them. To find the good that is present in everyone. That good still exists in Anakin, even now as he has become Darth Vader. And one day, I believe that will come to play. Perhaps that is Luke's destiny. Or Leia's. To find that small place in Anakin's heart that still remembers. That place that hasn't forgotten all that he stood for as a Jedi." Qui-Gon paused briefly. "But, you don't believe that, do you?"

"No, Master," Obi-Wan replied, shaking his head. "I don't. I only saw what he became. What he did to so many. There is no good left in him. I know that."

"And yet you do not hate him?"

"I…I don't know what I feel."

"You just want to forget."

"Yes."

"And that's why you sit here fiddling with my saber. Hoping for the good memories to take over and shut out the bad."

Obi-Wan nodded sadly. "It's why I read your books. And clutch the river stone. And…keep your light saber close. They offer me comfort. Some knowledge that there is still light in the galaxy. Darkness hasn't overtaken everything…yet. I have many years ahead of me here, Master. Many long years, long hot days, to think about the past. And it's inevitable that I will. I will try not to dwell on it though. But I need things like this," he shook the saber hilt gently, "to help me to focus elsewhere. If I dwell too much, the pain and hurt come back. I saw my light saber instructor dead, Master. Slaughtered with his class at the hands of my apprentice. I can't ever forget that. Your books, your saber, my river stone, they all provide an escape for me. If only for a short while."

"Are you hiding from the recent past?"

"I can't. I would like to, but I know it's a part of me now. I have to fight those demons alone."

"Never alone, Obi-Wan. You still have much training to complete. It took me years to get to the point that I am now. I am still learning. And I will teach you all that I know and learn. So, in your solitude, I will still be with you."

"Always the teacher?"

"Not always. But I gladly accept the role of your teacher once again."

"Thank you, Master. I do have much to learn. And would enjoy being your apprentice once again."

Qui-Gon's voice became wishful for a moment. "I would give anything to hold my saber in my hands once more. I'll have to be content with just seeing it again. Thank you for looking after it for me, Obi-Wan. I am grateful that it's been well cared for all these years."

"It's been my honor, Master." The younger Jedi smiled, his blue eyes twinkling for a brief second before he became solemn again. "Do you know if there are other Jedi who have survived? Are you able to see any of that within the Force? Ferus could not have been the only one."

"You bring me to the other reason for my visit today. Any Jedi who might be alive are well hidden. However, I have sensed two traces in the Force here on Tatooine.

I don't know who they are. But they have been here for several weeks. They've gotten closer in the last few days. You need to find them, Obi-Wan. Discover their identities. Determine what they are after. There is the possibility that they are surviving Jedi who have turned and are working for the Empire now. I do not know. But tread carefully, my Padawan. If they are friend, you need to speak with them and direct them away from Tatooine. Away from Luke. Their presence will only bring attention to this location. If they are foe, then you know what you need to do.

Allow the Force to guide you."

Obi-Wan allowed himself a bit of hope. Jedi who survived the slaughter? Or, like Ferus, former members of the Order who are trying to battle the Empire in their own ways. "I will, Master."

The coolness of the metal in his hands directed Obi-Wan's attention back to Qui-Gon's light saber. The man smiled as he cradled it snuggly with both hands as if it was the most prized of his possessions. Then he got up, returned the piece to it's protected box and closed the lid carefully.

A few silent minutes passed. He wondered if his master had moved on.

"Qui-Gon?"

"I'm here, Obi-Wan."

"Thank you. You don't know how much it means to hear your voice again. You will help to make these long years bearable."

"You'll get used to things here. Give it time. I'll be here if you need me."

Obi-Wan glanced at the box where he'd just placed the saber, took a deep breath and nodded. Then he began his preparations to meet the two unknowns who had come to Tatooine.

END


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